May 28, 2009 at 12:26 pm (Uncategorized)

iiiiiiiiiiittttsss MAHRUKH!! ok dat was lame.. sorry for the delay in posts.. AGAIN! i dont know wat it is but its like i’ve put out a signboard outside my house which says Babysitter Available” cos for the past 4 days consecutively i’ve been asked to babysit my cousins ( that too widout pay, hmph! thoughtless! =P) while their parents would go off gallavanting across the city. Another reason i cudn’t write was… wel its kinda embarrassing but actually… *sigh*… i’d developed writer’s block. There, i said it. *bracing for taunts and verbal abuses*  (well it really shudnt be DAT bad.. i mean, J.K.Rowling developed a writer’s block before the 7th part of the harry potter series came out, so BIG DEAL! )

anyways first things first. i would like to take a moment to condemn wat happened in lahore yesterday. a suicide attack occurred near fatima jinnah road outside the offices of Rescue 15 and an intelligence agency, in which 50 people were injured (some critically) and 24 people lost their lives. many of the casualties were children. in a matter of minutes, hundreds of families’ lives were changed forever. It has been said that the Taliban have claimed responsibility for the attack. Taking into consideration what happened, my message to them is this:

From now on, no effort shall be made in trying to make you see the err of your ways, because clearly logic and rationality are things which are beyond you. It is evident from your actions that not only do u lack the compassion and love for your fellow country men or citizens, you also remain stubbornly fixated on your biased and irrational beliefs and continue to claim that you are in the right. However one thing shall be made clear; no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you will NOT be able to shake the foundations of this beautiful  country for the fulfilment of your own selfish interests. We are a resilient nation; we have emerged from attacks like these unscathed many times before. But now is the time we say…. enough. we shall have you know that the entire country backs the military offensive launched against the Taliban forces and other rogue elements who seek to upset the tranquility of this nation. InshAllah, we shall succeed.

May Allah provide us with strength and hope to pass through the difficult time ahead of us.. Ameen.

Not to worry, i shall not leave you feeling morbid and depressed. i have a feeling the following will put a smile on your face.. =)

until next time.. ciao. =)

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Jal Pari! =P

May 24, 2009 at 7:05 pm (Uncategorized)

yellooowww!! sorry for the gap between entries. yesterday i was playing the role of  babysitter to my 3 cousins ranging fm the ages of 5 to 9… (those are the dangerous ages, mind you)..siigh, to cut a long story short, i was at my wits’ end cos apparently NOTHING was keeping these kids entertained; they wud intermittently sigh and exclaim “im bored! there’s nothing to do here!” which would inevitably send me into another neverending process of keeping them entertained while simultaneously making a complete fool outta myself. In between they did proceed to have a stuffed toy fight amongst themselves; my beloved toys, obviously, to be used as ammunition (I didnt let them touch Mr. Teddy however… oh no, NO ONE, i repeat, NO ONE touches Mr. Teddy. i dont care how cute or cuddly your teddy bear is, Mr. Teddy rules.. so there =P)..  it wasn’t a total failure though – while racking my brain on how to remove these kids’ boredom, i came up wid the idea of playing ‘Twister’.. only to remember dat i dont have the game itself. but dat dint dampen my ambitions! no sir! =P it just so happened dat i have a multicolored rug spread across my bedroom floor (THANK YOU IKEA!! =D)..therefore the game kept them busy for ages..=)

nevertheless i was extremely tired by the end of it all and wished for nothing but some relaxing time to myself. little did i know dat the fruit of my labours lay just around the corner.

after wat seemed like an ETERNITY their parents (my chacha and chachi) finally arrived after having taken their time in doing their errands (altho in my opinion it shud’ve taken alot LESS time!) . While exchanging pleasantries, they told us that a mela complete with rides such as ferris wheels and roller coasters had been set up on the main beach. They asked me whether i would like to go or not. I shrugged which signalled my assent and in a matter of just a few minutes, all of us had piled into my chacha’s car and were on our way to catch a glimpse of the apparent splendour of this mela. as soon as we reached there, i realised that we had actually gained alot more than we bargained for. Picture this ; a makeshift tent inside which there were ‘rides’ which looked like they were about to bite the dust……….literally. i mean, the rust was practically gnawing at the hinges of a few of them, so much so dat i began to fear dat they may collapse any second. A glance at the crowd there also made me want to kick myself in the shins for having insisted to wear trousers and a t-shirt. Groups of guys in threes and twos clad in skin-tight t-shirts, wearing cheap chains and jeans which threatened to drop from their waist at any moment, continued to encircle our family group; eyeing me from top to bottom as if i was about to throw a lollywood dance number right in front of them. It was at that point that i wished amongst all the other accessories i was wearing, i wore high-heeled shoes. It would’ve given me immense satisfaction to throw them at these perverts and for the heel to make contact with their faces.*wicked grin*

My chachi, who by this time felt that coming here was a big mistake and therefore desperately tried to make amends (poor woman), suggested that i go ahead and try the ‘pirate ship’ ride along wid one of my cousins.Thinking i might as well make the most of this trip just to make my chachi and chacha happy, i agreed. As we climbed into the rickety ‘pirate ship’ we looked for the best place to sit (ideally, the best place is at the back  cos as the ship goes upwards, u get butterflies in your stomach =D…. i know, im such a kid, i’l just shut up now.) It was then that i realised that there were no bars in front of the seats for any of the ride’s occupants. To my horror, the front seat provided nothing to hold onto – all that was in front of it was the nose of the ship beyond which lay a hard, cemented floor which would’ve definitely led to horrible injuries if not something worse. “What kind of monster death ride is this?!” i found myself thinking.  anyhow, after much prayer and pleas to God for mercy, the ride started and i eventually realised why there were no handle bars……… THE STUPID RIDE DIDN’T HAVE ANY SPEED!! It groaned and moaned as if it were about to deliver its last ride in its career of amusement park rides. I just kept shaking my head throughout the entire duration of it, completely bewildered at how the other occupants were screaming their heads off in apparent fear (the ‘pirate ship’ ride at Funland; now THAT’S a ride to write home about).

After all this extensive whining and intense criticism, you’d think i’ve said all that i’ve wanted to say about how this particular mela was a complete disaster. but nooooooooo!! we’re not done yet! after all there’s a reason i’ve kept the title of this post ‘jalpari’! the best is yet to come! =D

When the ‘euphoria’ of our ride wore off, i noticed a large crowd gathered at the far end of the tent. Wondering what could’ve attracted such attention, i tried to look for clues to this puzzle. i didn’t have to look far…. right above from where the large crowd was gathered, there was a large painting of a mermaid on the left of which were the words inscribed in Urdu : “jal pari”. My mouth fell open in shock but before i could relate this to my chacha, a very loud announcment came from one of the speakers. It said:

“Aayye aayye! Aayye aake Jalpari ko dekhiye! Iss ka aadha tan machli, aadha tan insaan ka hai! Qudrat ka ajooba! Yeh paani mein leti huwi hai, mast leti huwi hai! Yeh jalpari hai bhai! Sirf 10 rupees mein dekhiye aur lutf uthayye!”

…….. i was trying my level best to control my laughter, lest one of the organisers saw me and gave me a piece of their mind. “These guys have GOT to be kidding!! Do they think the public’s stupid??….. oh wait, of course they are.” i corrected myself as i saw how many people thronged the stands, shoving and pushing each other just to get a glimpse of the so-called wonder of the world.

As we left the enclosure, my chacha n chachi expressed their disappointment about the arrangements. The kids were irritable and whined how they never got a chance to experience any of the rides available. I, however, only had one thought in mind.

“….. i can’t WAIT to tell this to everyone! =D”

until next time.. ciao! =)

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siigh..only in Pakistan.

May 22, 2009 at 7:35 pm (Uncategorized)

heyloo agaiin!! sorry for the delay.. i was watching a show called ‘oye! its Friday!’ which comes on Aag TV,  hosted by Farhan Akhtar and the special guest was Shahrukh Khan. (…wat? don’t look at me like dat! i have sum very fond memories of Shahrukh Khan’s acting career; case in point, kal ho na ho, dilwale dulhaniyan le jayeinge, etc where he plays the typical chocolate hero everybody falls in love with … altho i have to admit now dat image has been immensely corrupted by his buffed up bod and his fetish wid item numbers where hes making out wid practically every girl in the room..*shudder*). It was pretty interesting, farhan and shahrukh joking arnd and stuff.. thr was this segment wich they both presented at the end of the show which was titled, ’10 Biggest Dating Mistakes’… the dating mistake dat topped the list? “while on a date, never EVER ask a girl: ‘would u be able to handle all the household chores?'” yea so theres sum food for thought for all the aspiring daters out there.. you all know who you are. =)

yea so bak to the topic at hand… im sure a number of us have noticed (read: ‘been subjected to’) the endless and numerous grammatical errors dat keep springing up every now and then on billboards, banners, signboards, u name it… to tel u the truth, i cringe everytime i see one. i mean, if u’ve spent so much money on the size of the billboard, the paint, not to mention the wages to the people who make it, why not go the extra mile (in fact in this case its not even a mile, its probably a kilometre) and actually make sure the spelling and grammar of the words on the billboard are correct. but i guess dats just too much to ask for. as a nation we’re always on the lookout for shortcuts; whether it involves cutting in front of the other poor soul at the traffic signal, or cutting in line in a long queue for the distribution of free donuts (altho in dat case there wouldn’t be a line, there would be an insane mob!) its always the easy way out for us. whatever the reason, one things for certain; it sure does provide alot of free entertainment! =D

i came across a few such wonderful photos taken of such master felonies committed in the English language which were sent to me via e-mail from a friend. Enjoy! =)

..waaaaaaattt???..waaaaaaattt???

..the guys who created the song will die of shame! .... that is, if they haven't already died yet...the guys who created the song will die of shame! …. that is, if they haven’t already died yet.

ok this doesn't even sound rite!ok this doesn’t even sound rite!

chumma chumma dey dey!! =Pchumma chumma dey dey!! =P

...ahem, need i say more?…ahem, need i say more?

hmmm..dats not gonna attract too many customers!hmmm..dats not gonna attract too many customers!

ok im not sure dats even a word!ok im not sure dats even a word!

…until next time, ciao! =)

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Kids say (and do) the darndest things! =P

May 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm (Uncategorized)

Since im free nowadays wid absolutely nothing to do, i generally pass the time by surfing the internet, sleeping til 1 p.m and watching TV til my brain cells melt. I know, i know, its not very constructive (but seriously, wat wud u do wid so much time on ure hands?); however u’l b amazed at the kind of news dat gets on the air every now and then.  Like just the other nite, i was watching an episode of Opera (yeah, yeah, i watch Opera, so sue me.) I was watching the show in the hope of getting a chance to see the American society’s dirty laundry in the form of a multitude of problems dat they face on a daily basis wich wud indirectly make me feel better abt myself.(tsk tsk! mahrukh, u sadist u! =P) But it so turned out dat it was another one of those opera-and-friends-get-together-to-talk-about-something-utterly-useless-and-mundane shows so i was like ‘aw dang it! how boring!’. I was abt to reach for the remote to switch the channel wen they started to talk abt a particular news item wich was making its rounds in the media abt a new york city lawyer who got so frustrated wid her kids’ constant bickering and whining dat she threatened to stop the car and leave thm in the middle of the road…………..which she DID!! yes! u read correctly! she stopped the car, forced her kids out and then drove off! and the point where she left thm was like a gud 10 miles away fm home so yea naturally it must’ve been in the middle of nowhere! i mean can u BELIEVE dat?? n dats not all! this woman goes home and calls 911 to lodge a report abt her daughters missing. MISSING??? lady, u fricking left ure kids to fend for themselves in the middle of nowhere so how cud they be missing??? wel it just so happened dat the young girls (one was 12, the other was 10) were picked up a while later by a gud samaritan who happened to be in the neighborhood and who agreed to drop them home.

so wat, is ths the new way of parenting now? scaring the crap outta young kids just to make a point? and how annoying can kids get anyway?

i got the answer to my question a few days later wen i was sitting in our neighborhood park wid a friend wen a young girl who also lived in the neighborhood came up to return the hairband which she had borrowed fm my friend a few days earlier.. now the following is exactly how the scene materialised, no exaggeration.

young girl: “hello!”

my friend: “hey there! i see u hve my hairband there. hope it went wel wid the dress u wore for the birthday party u had to go to. how’d it go?”

young girl: “yea it was nice. thank u soo much for ure hairband. altho it was kinda loose for me, but still thanks alot….”

my friend (hesitatingly): “uhh…yea sure no problem.”

young girl: “…oh and its ends were kinda pinching me behind the ears, so yea that was kinda bothersome, but still thanks so much…”

…and with that she thrust the hairband into my friend’s hands, completely disregarding her shocked expression and pranced off. To be fair to my friend dat was hardly the kind of response i wud’ve expected fm a kid i wud’ve loaned something to! i mean a simple thank you wud’ve sufficed but nooooooooo!! she just had to launch on a verbal tirade of how the hairband came to be so below her expectations! i mean, COME ON! this is something you would normally say to a shopkeeper upon returning a piece of merchandise wich is suffering fm sum defect or something! honestly kids say the darndest things..=P

until next time ciao! =)

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BLOGS AWAY!

May 20, 2009 at 5:42 pm (Uncategorized)

yes u’ve guessed it.. i’ve finally started my very own blog. this whole blog mania has managed to rope me in as well…and what a phenomenon its managed to become! i’ve just come to know how it works ( yup i know wat ure thinking..’poor ignorant fool! does she live in the stone age or something?’ well, welcome to my world). more so, i saw dat every tom, dick, harry, sally, jane and joan was blogging away in cyberspace and not just dat… ppl actually read their pieces of work and enjoyed them! mind u, the purpose of this particular blog was not to achieve fame and fortune or anything like dat; its mainly to try something new and to share wid others wat i perceive thru my viewing glass. (i know this sounds eerily a lot like J.D in Scrubs but c’mon, dont we all have a wild imagination like dat?? =P) anyways.. i guess this is just abt a gud enuff intro for now…. for more idiosyncracies and the quirkiness of life’s events, stay tuned to ths page!
ciao! =)

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