Ban on Indian films in Pakistan — AGAIN!

August 30, 2009 at 12:53 pm (Uncategorized)

its funny how your mind tends to wander when you have more pressing issues to attend (hmmm, i don’t remember but i think it starts with an ‘E’ and involves writing like a maniac on paper..), but i guess its human nature to get distracted easily. in between paying more attention than was necessary to what people were wearing and noticing one-of-a-kind phrases etched on almost all the buses, rikshaws, tankers and motorcycles of the city (one motorbike in particular was sporting the phrase in bright red and in block letters, “DON’T TUCH ME!”…. yeah, im sure no one would wanna touch this guy with a ten-foot flagpole after reading this), i also came across a program being aired on Express News (anything to get away from studying right?). it was hosted by Mubashir Lucman and his guest on the show was none other than Shaan; the gandasa wielding king of Punjabi films. The topic of discussion was the banning of the release of Indian movies in Pakistan; apparently there’s been a lot of hullabulloo about it since the issue has been raised in the National Assembly by a minister.

i guess the only compliment i can give to Shaan here is that he was looking really good with his clear-cut shave and broad shoulders. other than that, he was reflecting just how low you can get to protect your bread and butter, or in this case; fancy sports cars, designer items and what not. When asked why he thought Indian films should be banned he replied: “Indian films are a threat to the values that we have been brought up with; the images of women scantily-clad and bearing their skin is something we should not encourage!”

……..uh huuuhhhh..riiiiiigghhtt. so that means that Shaan is considering himself to be the forerunner of the values we stand for. that means the images of a heavy set woman who is WAY beyond the age of acting as a lead heroine making ungainly moves in a way to seduce her lover (*shudder*) who, by the way, has his mouth set in a permanently fixed frown that makes him look constipated is a PERFECT representative example of our culture and value system. ohh yeaah riight. that makes a WHOLE lot of sense.

And it seemed that at that point, Shaan was just getting warmed up. He was consumed with his dislike (to put it mildly) for films coming from across the border. He began complaining about the lack of support he gets from the public for his movies: “People come up to me and they complain, ‘Why do you always star in Punjabi movies?’. i asked that person where he hailed from. He replied, ‘Punjab’. i then told him that i am making these movies for people like him. after all, if you don’t find anything Punjabi in the province of Punjab, how can it be called Punjab??”

ohhh i get it. so you’re making movies for the people of Punjab ONLY. so that means that the people belonging to the remaining provinces have absolutely no say in the matter of what they prefer to see or watch. oh and if you think this is what most Punjabis want out of their movie industry, then you have another think coming………..they’re just as embarrassed as the rest of us!!

probably the most annoying part of the entire show was the way the host was playing the role of ‘yes-man’ for his guest. He was agreeing with practically everything Shaan said. in fact he even had the audacity to tell off a caller for not appreciating Shaan’s views and to see a few Pakistani Punjabi movies himself!!

All i can say is that the media should re-think their stand on being the symbol of free expression, or better yet, hang up their prestigious title or trophy on a mantle, because this completely goes against what they claim to stand for. Freedom of expression is all about freedom of choice. If we claim to be a democracy, that means that each one of us as an individual is entitled to his/her own opinion and also has a right to choose. We watch most Indian movies because we like them for their stories, comedy, action sequences, etc. (although India too has its share of over-the-top, ridiculous, gravity-defying stunts). Enforcing a ban only shows how insecure the Pakistani film industry is and to give the pretext that certain Indian films are corrupting our value system while simultaneously our own films are enough to make even the most seasoned movie watcher bow down his head in shame, is not only absurd but laughable.

my opinion is that in order to safeguard our value system from these ‘threats’, first make our value system stronger. if the youth have stronger morals, values and regard for their culture inculcated in them then there would be no need to worry because they would be able to differentiate between what is good and what is bad. Secondly, it is important to take a good, long look at oneself before judging others.

i rest my case. =P

i rest my case. =P

until next time, ciao. =)

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Exam Treachery

August 19, 2009 at 7:09 am (Uncategorized)

i am the living example of the phrase, “ignorance is bliss“. considering i’ve got two exams scheduled for next week, i should be studying, nay, cramming for both but NOOOOOOOOOOO! in characteristic Mahrukh style, im acting as if my summer break has already started. (hence, the active online status). But then i thought before i vanish into the oblivion and hibernate for the next two weeks, i bid one last (temporary) adieu by talking about all things nonsensical. =P

ohh maan, i went to a mehndi last week and it was slightly different from the rest of the mehndis i’ve attended mainly because ALL the girls there were SUPER-HOT (and i mean that in a very straight way) thus giving me severe inferiority-complex and the dances were just AWESOME! i mean how many mehndis have you been to where there was a group of guys dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” ?? in fact, how many mehndis have you been to where there were guys who could dance AT ALL?? Well there can be only two words to describe my reaction; BLOWN AWAY! i mean, they were doing the steps in the EXACT manner as it was done in the video! THEY EVEN DANCED TO ONE REPUBLIC’S “APOLOGIZE”!! (hyperventilating). *takes deep breath* duuude i’ve decided… the main criteria for dancing at my mehndi will be to dance on Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” i dont care. =P (prepare yourselves all =D)

awww man, already half the day’s gone. i guess i should really get back to studying. *sigh* what i wouldn’t give for Rita Skeeter’s quill which would know the answers beforehand and write itself? then again considering the vile nature of the quill, i have a feeling that the plan would backfire horribly.

anyways im off. see you later alligator; in a while crocodile… (and whatever parting messages you can think of =P)

until next time, ciao. =)

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OH…..MY….GOD!! =O

August 15, 2009 at 5:00 am (Uncategorized)

ok i know i’ve already posted today’s blog but this is something i just HAVE to share with you guys!!! a friend sent me this video… listen to the lyrics, you’ll laugh your butt off!! =D

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HAPPY BUDDAYY PAKISTAANN!! *rips silencer off motorcycle and heads towards the main beach*

August 15, 2009 at 4:20 am (Uncategorized)

“Deck the halls with flimsy pakistani flags.. fa lalalala lala lala

‘Tis the season to be cautious.. fa lalalala lala lala

Don’t step out onto the main Seaview road.. falala lalala lala la

Or you’ll be missing a phone and a wallet…falalalala lala la LA!”

yup its the 14th of august and it has officially been 62 years since Pakistan came into existence…now you may be wondering if im gonna launch into a detailed in-depth analysis of the political, economic, social, legal, behavioral, psychological state of the country. things couldn’t be further from the truth. (in fact they’re way, WAY back… like, the tip of mount everest even.) its just that living in karachi and for that matter living in a place like Seaview has exposed me to a variety of sights every now and then (and not just the mobile snatching episodes that i’ve mentioned above). Senior citizens out for a stroll, families taking their kids out for a camel ride,  a girl telling off a couple of rowdy boys to leave her alone or she’ll contact her father’s cousin who’s in the police; these are just some of the scenes which i have grown used to over the years. And of course, who can forget the annual celebration of our country’s independence day right here at the beach where people from all four corners of Karachi, bearing through all forms of police barriers (physical and otherwise) come to rejoice. You can smell the freedom in the air (apart from the smells of kebab rolls, vehicle fumes, firecracker smoke and mildew); there’s nothing more liberating than removing the silencer from your motorcycle, wrapping every inch of your body with anything and everything that’s green and white, saluting towards the mortified expressions of your parents and then heading off into the sunset, exhaling toxic fumes from the back of your motorcycle and with the turr-turr-turring piercing your eardrums.

And what better way to celebrate the 62nd anniversary of your country’s existence than to head towards the beach? Concerts are out of the question; the ticket prices are too high plus each girl is flanked with 5 to 6 guys, thus eliminating any possibility of acting flirtatious and not getting pummelled to the ground. Clubs are mainly for the rich and famous who are the bane of this society (besides the events there are too tame). Any other place would be….. just plain boring. Therefore the beach is THE place to go because it is the ONLY place where people can be free to flirt, create noise pollution, dance in the middle of the street, have motorcycle races and steal phones and wallets from defenseless bystanders without ANY form of interruption. (Heck, they could create a camp fire out of a truck’s tire and do a ritualistic dance around it, who’s to stop them?). One wonders if the question: “What have YOU done for your country so far?” were to be asked of these people, what answers one would get? Perhaps the following scene would put things into perspective:

Patriot: “Young man, i would like to ask you the meaning of independence? what does the term mean to YOU?”

Party pooper *confusion clouding expression*: “independence? uhhh….it means to be free, i guess.”

Patriot: “yes, yes, but that’s the literal meaning. surely you must know the symbolism of the term.”

Party pooper: “oh! yes of course i do. it means to be free and…uhhh,..being able to do what you want and….ummm….”

Patriot: “ok never mind. perhaps you may be able to tell me what you as an individual has done for your country?”

Party pooper *swells chest*: “oh i have taken part in a number of debate competitions and i’ve even sang songs in honour of my country….”

Patriot: “no no no. what i meant was what have you done FOR your country? you know something which may have contributed towards the improvement of the society? Your coming here to the beach and prancing around in the middle of the street is a mere celebration of the fact that….”

Party pooper: “Dancing?? did you just say that there was some dancing going on??”

Patriot: “no, i didn’t say dancing…i was referring to your lack of seriousness towards the issue that….”

Party pooper *shouts to friend*: “Hey guys! there’s some dance and music thing going on! Let’s go check it out!”

Patriot: “no! WAIT! you’ve misunderstood what i was trying to….. *coughs from the exhaust fumes of the motorcycles*.

On  a serious note though, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your country’s independence (even if it means circling the main road a few times with a massive flag tied to your back). But considering the dire straits that our country is in currently, we should try to think out of the box. Talks and discussions are good; they help us in seeing the problem a lot more clearly and in an entirely new perspective but it shouldn’t be the ONLY thing we’re capable of. Its time we DO something. And i know, considering the number of things that are wrong with our society right now the task can seem overwhelming. Thus i am in no way suggesting that something monumental needs to be done; such things take time. but as an individual, a number of us can do our part. from now on, try NOT throwing that wrapper out your car window, try to resist giving a bribe to that traffic policeman, try teaching a child something that he/she is likely to remember for a long time. that way when we are asked what we have done for our country, we’ll not only have an answer but we’ll be able to keep our heads high. =D

i wish everyone a very HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

until next time, ciao. =)

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its just another manic mondayyy!!

August 11, 2009 at 8:34 pm (Uncategorized)

i swear i think i shud hang a horse’s shoe over my wireless router and modem or burn green chillies next to it or something  cos it seems like, being the motor mouth that i am, i’ve unwittingly managed to cast a dark shadow over my internet connection over the past few days. it is taking soooooo long to connect and when it eventually does, the speed is at a snail’s pace. to top it all off, it stays connected for barely 5 min before vanishing once again into oblivion.(yea u can take bak your title, Rhode Island). so basically watever important work you had to do which involved going online (checking your mail, reviewing dat dodgy girl’s status updates on facebook) you had a time limit of 5 min combined with the difficulty of having to cope wid a slow internet speed… its like an internet obstacle race where not only are you certain that you aren’t gonna win but where the only consolation prize is working up a sweat to acquire something as crappy as ‘time management skills’.

sigh….

sumtime back a friend suggested that i write abt the significance (or the lack of it) of  ‘mondays’ in everybody’s lives. since im aware of the impact of that particular day in most people’s lives, i decided to give it a try. therefore i present to you the top 5 characteristics of  ‘Mondays’. Love them, or hate them… you decide. =)

  1. For many people ‘mondays’ are resolution days… you know, like how many people make yearly resolutions? well, there are quite a few people (like yours truly) who make weekly resolutions, the implementation of which, we assure ourselves, will DEFINITELY be done from monday: “i’ll definitely get that report drafted on monday”; “i’ll definitely start reading the business pages of the newspaper everyday starting monday.” all it takes is a little dosage of friends, parties and the latest scandal on The Bold and the Beautiful to distract us from our commitments.
  2. For a large segment of the population (especially our generation of people) ‘mondays’ signal the arrival of something we’ve been dreading for a very long time….. WORK. No amount of groaning and moaning will delay the onslaught of the inevitable; that despite knowing we should’ve prepared for that quiz/worked for that report earlier, we obviously didnt.. ( “but MOOOMMMM!! Beverly Hills 90210 was on! Greg was about to tell Sally that hes GAY!”) and so we brace ourselves for the barrage of insults that shall be delivered to us courtesy our boss/professor (who’s an ass anyway).
  3. Forget friday the 13th…..some people label ‘mondays’ as their ‘bad luck’ days. It could either be the black cat which crosses their path every monday morning, it could be due to spilling salt every monday morning at breakfast or how that damn ladder is always standing near that impossible-to-cross puddle of mud every monday morning, forcing one to go under it. whatever the reason, these people refuse to budge from their beliefs; if your boss yelled at you for something you didn’t do, if you managed to spill coffee all over yourself  just as that cute sales executive who works on your floor enters your office or if you get splashed with mud as a sports car zooms by; then these people believe its cos Lady Luck decided to take the day off.
  4. Mondays are also the first day after a weekend during which you’ve done nothing except surf the web, talk on the phone for hours, watch movies and sleep like a drug addict. therefore its really hard to get bak into routine after such rigorous chilling (what?? that takes alot of work too!)
  5. If your birthday falls on a monday, God forbid, then you must be prepared for some major swindling, cake smearing and, in the case of guys, birthday bumps. Many people treat the birthday boy/girl as the guinea pig to vent all of their frustrations and grievances on… JUST BECAUSE its a monday! and mind you, this is not something to be taken lightly. they’ve had the entire weekend to think of different ways to make you regret why you didn’t just change your birthdate just this one time..

so there you have it…. 5 reasons why ‘monday’ leaves such an impact on all of our lives. its no wonder why the famous band of the 80s, the Bangles, came up with this song:

“its just another manic mondaayyyy!!

wish it was sundayyyy!!

but its just mondayyy!”

until next time, ciao. =)

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mehndi mania

August 7, 2009 at 9:55 am (Uncategorized)

man, talk abt down in the dumps. remember how i was so happy abt scraping through my sales midterm not only unscathed but wid flying colors? yea well it turns out………. I WAS FRIGGING LIED TO!! imagine how stupid i must’ve looked jumping wid glee over wat i thot was gud news but wat eventually turned out to be a load of crap. now why wud anyone do dat?? dont they know how de-motivating dat can be? its like launching into the air in a hot balloon but thn having sum sick freak throw spears at it. sigh.

oh well onto other news…. recently i’d gone to a friend’s sister’s mehndi (yup talk abt long distance.. but dats how it is here in pakistan; even if u go attend ure brother’s in-laws 4th cousins wedding nobody will think ure outta place). the wedding season has started somewhat early in the year this time, which is good for some people cos neither will they hve to worry abt their make up melting (in the case of ladies) or their shirt getting soiled up with sweat (in the case of gents) cos of the weather being really nice; nor will they hve to worry abt their teeth falling off due to all its chattering as is pretty common during winters. other than dat the nature of it is pretty much the same; bright colors, laughing faces, loud dance music, aunties dressed in fashions half their age… etc.

but one other event took place at this particular mehndi which by far stood out from the rest (at least for us =p) and which can be qualified as the first of its kind. so here’s what happened: we were all sitting at one of the tables placed in the hall (or garden or watever), passing the time leading to the arrival of the barat by chatting with each other (by the way, this was like, one of the very rare and few punctual mehndis i’ve ever seen; the entire scene was wrapped up by 12:45, wich in this part of the world is UNHEARD OF!!). now each table had a massive pedestal fan located near it; u know, the huge kind… the kind which threaten to chop your hand off if you get too close and which u can use also use as a propellor for a tiny boat =S. two of my friends were standing talking to each other, one of them dangerously close to one of these gigantic fans. what happened next is something nobody expected:

*grind*……*clunk!*……PHWUPTHWUPTHWUPTHWUPTHWUP!!

6 heads swerved in the same direction where the weird noise had come from only to find this:

DSC00451

DSC00452

THE FREAKING THING ATE UP HER DUPATTAA!!! =O the poor thing herself was in a state of shock. the nature of the incident combined with the fact that she suddenly found herself MINUS a dupatta was a bit unnerving as i could tell from the expression on her face. for the rest however, it proved to be the highlight of the evening. as if guided by instinct, almost everybody took out their digital cameras/camera phones and started clicking away! (myself included..=P… waaat??? my dupatta-less friend was assuring everyone that she was fine, despite every concerned look thrown her way so might as well take her word for it.) anyways it took the staff working there almost half an hour to unwind the dupatta from the fan. wen it finally did come out it was a bit greased but surprisingly in one piece. the rest of us took the opportunity to berate the host about the lack of arrangement and maintenance facilities (“you call this foolproof arrangement?! the next thing you know everybody will be sporting a french cut courtesy the maniacal pankha!!) but all the same in the end everybody got to have a good laugh.

*groan* have to go work on my SM report. stupid professor thinks just cos hes toured half the world and cut a few business deals that he has as much knowledge as the Dalai Lama. well he has another think coming….*rolls up sleeves and tucks an SM book under arm*

until next time, ciao. =)

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August 5, 2009 at 4:19 pm (Uncategorized)

its kind of funny the kind of news items u run into…. just wen you’re about to reach the conclusion that the world couldn’t get any weirder, another piece of information not only hits you in the head but also manages to leave a mark.its sort of like, going for tennis practice wid a badminton racket only to find that the rest of their players have brought their table tennis rackets. (ok that was completely random! =p)

the other day i was scanning through the newspaper (just in case my parents launched into another lecture on how important it is to be aware of current events; hence, scanning =P) when i came across a news item whose headline stated:

‘Chinese astronauts not allowed to come on space mission on account of bad breath’

yup, you read correctly. apparently if you possess any form of body odour you’re not allowed to accompany the rest of the team on the shuttle. mainly the safety and preferences of the other astronauts are taken into consideration for this… i dont blame them actually. i mean body odour is not exactly most people would welcome, specially in a place as closed as a space shuttle. (clawing at the windows to escape the smell and then dying of suffocation is more like it. =P)

but believe it or not, there’s more! apart from going through a strict procedure of measuring the strength and health of the applicants, another very important criteria is… believe it or not, the astronauts WIVES! until and unless the wife of the astronaut applying in question does not get the green signal to go ahead, the astronaut cannot take part in the mission. talk abt womens rights huh? =P (husband:“aww honeyyy!! u can’t DO this to me!! i’ve been preparing for this for months!! why won’t you let me go??” wife:“Because i dont trust you. You’re always looking for a reason to leave me so if a martian supermodel comes upto you and asks you to take her out on a date, who’s gonna stop you??

oooh here’s another news item i came across…. talking robots who are able to cure people suffering from psychological and mental diseases by cooking and dancing to michael jackson’s tunes. =O now who would’ve thot? The Japanese (its ALWAYS the japanese, ALWAYS!) have developed a one of a kind robot who is able to properly interact with humans and who would prove to be a better companion than a dog (yup sorry poochie, but ure days are numbered). and i guess the singing and dancing to michael jackson tunes is pretty apt considering the recent demise of the pop legend. lets just hope it doesnt start develop a feathery voice, grows white and begins to indulge in massive cosmetic surgeries such as botoxes and face lifts. =P

anyways im off. heres to having a good week, thanking God i salvaged my reputation as an above average student in sales and hoping that i manage to survive the barrage of  mehndi and dholki invites in the coming month. *clink of glasses*

until next time, ciao. =)

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