Early bird catches the worm… (poor worm didn’t see it coming)

September 3, 2009 at 5:44 pm (Uncategorized)

We, as a nation, pride ourselves on being fashionably late. In fact, if any of us were asked the question : ‘Why don’t we make the effort of coming early for a change?‘, instead of hanging our heads and shame and trying, in vain, to mumble out that our car broke down or that there was too much traffic on the road, we contort our expressions to look mortified at the audacity of such a query and then proceed to say: ‘This is PAKISTAN! nothing starts on time here!’ . This is especially true of weddings; gone are the days when marriage was considered as a celebration of the union of two souls as witnessed by Allah and both families. Nowadays, the concept of shaadis has changed altogether; it is now considered the mother of all social gatherings; a competition of sorts where all fashionistas collect and determine which has the best dance floor, the best decor, the best seating arrangement, etc.

If the invitation for arrival is written as 9:00 p.m on the invitation card, then people take it to mean 10:00 or even 10:30. Ask anybody and they shall recount the nightmarish experience they wish they could easily forget of the time when they decided to adhere to the rarely-applied principles of punctuality and came early, only to find that even the hosts themselves hadn’t bothered to arrive by that time.

Mehndis are even worse; people don’t bother coming before 11:00 p.m because they know the real fun won’t start before that. The poor, ignorant souls who, by mistake, did come early now have to bear with the pace of the proceedings as the sequence of events is so numerous that dinner may not be served til before 1:00 a.m!

This love affair with lateness and delay is, sadly, not only confined to wedding functions. Remember the times when we used to attend school; when we’d be getting ready for assembly, out of the corner of our eyes we were always bound to see a number of kids standing at the gate, shuffling their feet and muttering under their breath (probably cursing the van driver for not waiting for him) and wondering what fate awaited them in the principal’s office once the assembly was over. These kids were permanently branded as ‘latecomers‘; people who had no respect for deadlines and who were considered to be tardy.

Recently a news item appeared which stated that offices in New Delhi were implementing the use of biometric scanners in order to ensure that their employees reached their workplaces on time. The scanners required employees to scan their fingerprints at the time they entered the office. The scanner would then record the time of the scan. If the employee came late 3 days in a row, he would have to give up one day off as punishment.

Hmmm… one wonders what would happen if the same device was introduced in our workplaces?

Employee *frantically checking his watch as he enters building*: “oh man! today im screwed! the boss is definitely gonna fire me!”

*proceeds towards scanner*

*scanner beeps out message*: “scan taken at 11:15 a.m”

Employee *groans*: “ugghh!! dammit! how do i get this off the record??….hmmmmm…..”

*lightbulb shines overhead*

*looks around to see if anybodys watching and then pours water all over the scanner*

scanner: *crack* *POP!* fizzle*

Employee *mock indignation*: “oh dear! look what happened! now now, not worry people; i shall get it fixed in a jiffy!”

*runs off with it*

(1 hour later)

Boss: “Saleem! Did you get that scanner fixed or not?!”

Employee: “yes sir i had taken it to the shop to get it fixed but its completely beyond repair!”

Boss: “what?! that thing cost a fortune!! why?? whats wrong with it??”

Employee: “Sir, its a chinese model!”

until next time, ciao. =)

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3 Comments

  1. sarah said,

    hey mahrukh, i thoroughly enjoyed your blog… so many things i agree with.. just wish there wsa something more we could about all these issues that you have highlighted and so lightly and atricultely explored…

    good job girl… one link that i must keep returning to

    (not to forget that i enjoyed your writing style…;)

    toodles.

  2. sarah said,

    ok… i did notice the spelling errors *shame-faced*

    • mahrukhh said,

      saraaaahhhh!! aww man thank u soo much! u’ve no idea how much ure comments mean to me! =) yup im moving fm talking abt the utter chaos and nonsense that is my life to something more substantial. =P anyways thanks. =)

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