Timecheck! *ting!*

July 30, 2009 at 6:05 pm (Uncategorized)

i’ve finally been able to determine the purpose of all these student development programs that have sprung up left, rite and centre….

Objective No. 1:

‘to keep students on their toes at ALL times‘ (such that they’re forced to watch their backs every minute for fear of an organising member recording the minute they fall flat on their faces)

Objective No. 2:

‘to give students virtually insurmountable challenges to accomplish’ (to the point that they feel like banging their heads against the wall in the hopes of getting a spark of creativity)

Objective No. 3:

‘to squeeze every atom of energy from every student such that it may take days to recover’ (during wich students may walk around in a zombie-like state or in sum cases even sleepwalk)

i recently took part in my university’s first ever model united nations simulated conference program in the hopes that i wud gain some valuable experience and be able to wow the judges wid my infectious enthusiasm and self-confidence (well it was either that or i had suffered a temporary lapse of sanity and willingly agreed to make a complete fool outta myself!). the idea of the program was to divide all students into groups representing different countries which were meant to interact with each other on a variety of issues. the following four days of sessions were memorable in every way…. either in terms of certain points raised (“honourable chair, the quality of children born is declining due to the lack of effort on the part of the husband” and “i would like somebody to moderate my caucus”) to brief entertainment sessions (arm wrestling matches, dissing other delegates) and then of course the ‘Asian Village’ (dances to ‘Bibi Shireen’, kabbadi matches, saddams execution, hitting bush with shoes, afghan men torturing their women, a hindu wedding). mixed feelings of relief accompanied with nostalgia filled me as i left the auditorium today – relief at the fact that i wont b getting by wid jus 3-4 hours of sleep combined with massive info overload of statistics,facts and figures anymore and nostalgia at the fact that time jus flew by and it all came to an end all too soon.

anyways, im back to my whining mode again…. today im whining about the immense number of brain-numbing advertisements that we’re constantly subjected to day in and day out. i mean, c’mon man… its become virtually impossible to watch a movie with ease on worldcall anymore. its like watching a 20 min movie within 40 min of ads. and the KIND of ads!! allow to me to demonstrate….ahem..“this timecheck was brought to you by ‘Fit raho’ weight control pills – aap ke motaapey ka aasaani se khaatma! na exercise ka jhunjhat, na dieting ka masla.. ‘Fit raho’ pills; nayi zindagi apnayein” and “Brido Facial Cream – aap ki zindagi sawar jaye aur aap ko gore pan ka jadoo dikhaye!” ( picture of the bride standing in front of a fake taj mahal). and the worst part is that this nuisance isn’t just limited to television, its widespread over radio channels as well! getting to hear my favorite song has become somewhat of a distant memory as far as im concerned; in order to please their sponsors, some radio channels actually begin to play the advertisement track in the middle of the song!!

oh well, having said that i guess i’d better go now…. hve to put a lid on dat imbecile ali zafar and his stupid jazz ad, its driving me crazy.

until next time, ciao. =)

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….and then, there was LIGHT!

July 22, 2009 at 8:32 pm (Uncategorized)

….. and the heavens burst forth with water anew; drenching the landscape with raindrops shaped as pearls and showering every creation, manmade or natural, as far as the naked eye could see, thus enabling them to shed their rusty facade brought upon by years of neglect and embrace a new, clear and crystalline appearance, all standing tall  stretching beyond the horizon……

…. well it was either that or God forgot to turn off the tap which was supposed to fill up His massive swimming pool. =P

Man, that day was sum crazy day.. rainfall in torrents and a whipping breeze… so much so that many houses were flooded overnite! take a drive across the Seaview area and you’l see scores of buildings balconies decked with rugs, bedsheets, mickey mouse floor mats, u name it. news of people losing their cool and pouring out onto the street to vent their frustration and anger started circulating; riots were breaking out everywhere, buildings were being damaged ( i heard sumone sumwhere had damaged a KFC outlet…. AGAIN! man, people must really hate their menu)…. in short, the city had gone mad. of course u must’ve guessed who the target of all this disturbance was…. yup, KESC officials had a field day playing hide n go seek with angry mobs situated in different corners of the city. people even started giving euphemisms for KESC… sum came up with ‘Karachi Electric Sucking Corporation’, yet another came up with ‘Kabhi Kabhi Electric Supply Corporation’. whether u want to admit it or not, KESC had become the donkey upon wich everybody not only wanted to pin the tail but also throw arrows aflame with fire at.

of course i sympathised with the public mostly… we were without electricity for almost 3 days consecutively. had it not been for our faithful generator, i would’ve certainly been among the first rioters to throw a rock at a KESC office window. yet we still had power thankfully so it was relatively easy to get by. ironically, considering we had no electricity, no cable and no water, the only thing that was working was the internet! so yea, while others were draining their houses of rainwater, i was gliding through  cyberspace. (hehehe, beat that Rhode Island) sigh, my nation tends to surprise me at times.

anyways now that everythings back to normal (the roads are clear, the scorching suns back in the sky, my allergy kicking in) im sure all of us will look back on the previous days and smile…… NOT! =P

hey check out this video…. its really apt considering the rain craziness we had to go thru previously.

until next time, ciao. =)

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July 17, 2009 at 3:03 pm (Uncategorized)

YESSS!!! im BACK alll!!! (to laptop: “oh honey i missed u so much!!” *big slobbery kiss*).. after much craziness in the past week ( sum family related issues, other dumb issues) im FINALLY back in the blogging business!

anyway during my immensely long hiatus, i noticed quite a few things dat i hadn’t noticed before. firstly, my yearning to try out new things n conquer my fear in certain areas (as opposed to slinking away into a corner n pray dat the ground just swallow me up widout a trace), dat the weather in karachi is ALOT better thn the weather in lahore (*points finger* HA! *single raindrop splatters onto forehead*) n dat more n more GUYS my age r tying the knot. hmmmmm…. is this one of those signs of Judgement Day approaching? dat girls are becoming more career oriented n marrying late while guys are becoming more eager to ‘settle down’? not become all ‘homey’ but live the family life? i mean, you can easily tell the difference between the responses of girls and guys wen touching upon such a subject. wen u ask a girl wat her future plans are, her replies are mostly: “oh yea well i plan to do my masters” or “oh yea i plan to work” or even “i plan to take a fashion designing course in the hopes of opening my own studio sumday”. with sum guys, however, its a completely matter….

(n i stress on the word ‘sum’  in case one of u gets all touchy n goes like ‘OY!’ as if im attacking ure manhood in sum way, cos im in NO way stereotyping.. this is my personal observation of a few guys  i know. satisfied? gud. =) now lets move on)…

Sum of the guys i’ve spoken to are like: ” oh well i do plan to work, but im also getting married/nikhah-o-fied/engaged/rishta pakko-fied by the end of this month so naturally i’l need to work in order to make myself financially stable enuf to support my family”….. hmmm, spoken like a true family man. any takers ladies?

now dont get me wrong… if these are the paths chosen by either gender thn so be it, who am i to argue? although i can only imagine wat the poor mothers must go through in such kinds of predicaments. the guy who wants to get married will obviously want to get married to girls who are younger thn thm, plus well educated and whose overall compatibility matches theirs. however the girl would have no desire to settle down so early, specially wen her career is about to take off and wen there are so many opportunities just waiting to be availed. the guys mom will be frustrated cos no girl younger thn her darling boy would be willing to tie the knot (and this is especially true of those poor souls whose sons say: “ammi, jo aapki pasand ho, meray liye wohi theek hai.” ) whereas the girls mother would be ready to pull all her hair out cos firstly her daughters not ready to ‘sacrifice’ her career just yet and secondly as she gets older, all the potential guys who are in their late 20s or early 30s who prove to be a compatible match turn out to be married!!

sigh, wat a predicament indeed. well, never underestimate the mommys i always say… they’l always find a way out of every mess. right mom? =P

until next time, ciao. =)

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wimbledon!! *hits self with racket*

July 4, 2009 at 3:39 pm (Uncategorized)

people ask me how i find the time to maintain blogs and wonder why on earth i choose such a thing as blogging to occupy my free time. well my answer to them is………………………….have u seen the latest transformers movie??

=P no seriously i blog cos i love to write. n its not just abt boring ppl to death by telling them wat my daily schedule is; this is more of a launchpad towards other things… great things…*awe-inspiring music playing in the background* …. things that make me realise my full potential… things that give me the opportunity to make a difference in my society, my country, and the WORLD!! *maniacal grin*

hmmmm, i think i shud just stick to the ‘boring ppl to death’ excuse. =P

ow! my rite arm hurts so much i can barely type. yesterday i went to play badminton wid a couple of friends at karachi gymkhana. ironically wen we first started, we were comparing with each other how long its been since we last played badminton at all. by the end of the day, the comparison had shifted to ‘who plays better than the rest’! =P a funny thing happened in the middle of the game; the top part of my racket came off! i mean, literally it just separated itself from the handle! thankfully i wasn’t in the middle of a serve or anything otherwise things could’ve turned pretty ugly.

“oh man! im all charged up now! *hits shuttlecock with racket*

*racket top shoots ahead and busts the opponents nose*

“oh dear” *puts the remaining handle down and slowly creeps out of the court*

hehe yea it would’ve been like one of those funny sports accidents only it would’ve involved alot more blood..and,uh…broken bones…*shudder*

i didnt realise how out of shape i really was until the next day. my entire body ached and i had sore spots in a number of places. of course dat didnt stop me from gobbling down a kitkat chunky bar. it acted like a soothing balm applied to all the rite places. mmmm! =P

anyways, i was watching the ladies final of wimbledon played between serena and venus williams. not undermining the fact dat both sisters are fantastic players the world of tennis has ever seen, the match somehow seemed….. rigged. i mean, venus was being unusually sluggish while serena was at the top of her game.. altho venus was careful not to trail too far behind but just abt. i stopped watching the match for this reason cos i felt disgusted (and cos my dad had taken the remote control from me and before i could protest, had promptly silenced me with a menacing glare). its also been said that the father of both sisters already knows whos going to win between the two.

Dad: “ok venus, u’ve been doing really well lately and im proud of you… but this time, im gonna have to ask u to give your sister a chance.”

Venus: “wat?? why?? no! NO! (whining) u ALWAYS do this to me! she ALWAYS gets wat she wants! i hate her!”

Dad: “now honey, wat have i taught you?”

Venus (resigned voice): “sigh….. dat we must always look out for each other”

Dad: “dats rite. dats the williams way. n dont forget, ure happiness is in ure sisters victory.”

Venus: “ure rite dad, im sorry. i’l do wat u say.”

Dad: “dats my girl!” (proudly walks away)

Venus (in an undertone): “brat.”

until next time, ciao. =)

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July 1, 2009 at 12:43 pm (Uncategorized)

nowadays i’ve likened myself to the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. you know, the scene where shes doused with a bucket of water after which she screams in agony: “i’m melting! MELTIIIIINNNGGGG!!!” (of course considering the weather we’re having to put up with nowadays, i wouldn’t mind a bucket of water doused on me)

im guessing the news channels aren’t coming up with alot to report nowadays, which is forcing them to fall back on news items that wouldn’t normally get that much airtime. take for example, a scene from an interview in which a fly was swatted by Barack Obama. i mean, that fly could not have hoped for more fame and celebrity status in any other circumstance. all the flies of the Fly Kingdom must’ve come together in complete sobriety and given a tribute to the brave fly who stood up against the most powerful man in the world and died in its mission. then they must’ve held a press conference where they might’ve asked the public to respect their privacy and to let them grieve in peace. considering the amount of coverage that one incident got, that somehow suddenly doesn’t seem that unbelievable. 😛

by the way, heres something to make us Pakistanis feel better about our local film industry (yes yes, its possible! :P) just the other day my dad was watching a movie called ‘Chachi 420’ (yea, and you thought there couldn’t have been a more worse title of a movie than ‘Gujjar Badmash’…. you naive person you :P) which, by the way, happens to be a rip off of the Robin Williams movie ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’. My thoughts went back to the time when the Indian movie ‘Partner’ came out and how it was received. i mean, sure our films scripts are pretty cliche`, combined with implausible action sequences, vulgar dance moves and overacting to the extreme (am i forgetting something?) the state of affairs is pretty appalling. but at least we can complain that our stories are ORIGINAL!! (except for the fact that we’re relying on the same formula of either rich-girl-meets-poor-boy-and-they-fall-in-love themes or heros-entire-family-gets-killed-and-he-grows-up-to-avenge-their-deaths themes since time immemorial but dats besides the point! :P)

most indian movies lack originality. at long last there came an article in the newspaper a few weeks ago which said that the big guns of hollywood had FINALLY taken notice of the fact that too many of their films were being picked up, packaged in traditional indian fashion and sold to the indian moviegoer audience. hmph! ABOUT TIME! i mean where were they all this time?? i was wondering how the indian film industry was managing to stay afloat all this time; after this article i realised it was because Hollywood was busy too sue their butts off! (and the fact that the indian audience was soo stupid that they didnt realise they were being swindled out of their own money!) i mean, honestly how on earth did these indian directors and producers make such movies?? the director of , say, ‘Partner’ must’ve called everybody over to the set and then put on the ‘Hitch’ dvd, after which he must’ve faced the crew and said: “yea so you got to see all the scenes right? ok soo…do whatever these guys did. i’l be in my trailer.” i’l bet they didnt have any spots open for screenplay writers but instead for translators whose job criteria was to watch the movie ‘Hitch’ with utmost attention and translate each and every word! 😀

anyways i shall leave you forthwith with this animation video which makes fun of the spiderman 3 movie. enjoy!

until next time, ciao. 🙂

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